Dreaming of the Impossible
by The Oncoming Hurricane
Summary: Anna pledges her allegiance to Elsa, but it was all a dream.


...Hi. I've not really written anything in a while, in fact, this is my first fanfic in 2014! So what changed everything? Frozen, and more specifically Elsanna! It didn't take me long to get over any guilt there may have been over the ship and now I'm shipping them like crazy. They finally broke my writer's block at last. This is the fic that spawned The Queen's Right Hand, check it out if you like this.

Disclaimer: I don't own Frozen or its characters. Obviously.

Rated K+ for tiny hints of royal lesbian incest. Hey, if Disney can get away with worse, I can get away with this! Don't like, don't read! Simple.

* * *

"I, Princess Anna of Arendelle, pledge my allegiance to Queen Elsa, to be her right hand and commander of her armies as long as we both shall live. I will govern with a firm and just hand in her absence. This I do swear upon my honour; the honour of my house and of the realm.''

Anna bowed low before the throne upon which Elsa was sat, strands of her red hair brushing the polished marble floor, awaiting a response from her sister. After around 30 seconds of counting the freckles around her nose in her reflection, Anna dared to glance up. There was the tiniest hint of a smirk upon Elsa's face, one Anna did not think was at all appropriate to be there when she was swearing to place herself under her command for the rest of her life. Anna glared indignantly at the sight.

Elsa, noticing this, tried to conceal her widening smile behind her hand, but this was no good as it had now developed into silent laughter. Inevitably, Anna's glare became more intense, which in turn caused Elsa to break into an uncontrollable giggling fit. Taking this to mean the formalities were at an end, Anna stood up and watched with a reluctant smile of her own as her sister tried to regain the control and decorum that were expected of a queen.

"Are you finished?" Anna asked sternly.

"Sorry…" came the reply, before collapsing into giggles again.

Anna placed her hands on her hips and gave Elsa a piercing look as Elsa slowly regained control of herself. "What was so funny?" Anna thought it was finally safe to treat Elsa as someone capable of having a serious conversation, however inadvisable that may be.

"I just...I don't think I've ever seen you so serious before, Anna. It was kind of...touching?" Elsa smiled, pulling the last word out of the air hesitantly, as though even she was not quite sure of what she meant.

"Touching? _That's_ how you respond to touching?!" Anna's annoyance at her sister was growing more apparent, and the smile was falling from Elsa's face as she approached. "I've been practicing this for weeks, Elsa! You _know_ how important it is to me! I'm offering you my whole life!"

Crestfallen, Elsa approached Anna. "Anna, I'm...sorry…I didn't realise it meant so much." Elsa pulled her Anna into a tight hug, feeling the tension drain out of her sister's body as she clasped her arms around her. "Thank you. You're the best little sister I could ever wish for. I love you."

* * *

The dampness of the fabric upon her face woke Anna with a start. Her face had been pressed against her pillow and her arms clasped it tightly to her chest. It took another few seconds to register that the moisture had come from her eyes.

_Just a stupid dream._ Anna felt a pang of bitterness and despair only paralleled by what she'd felt when Elsa had first stopped talking to her and the day she'd lost her parents, nigh on a year ago now.

_Of course it was only a dream. I'm fifteen, not eighteen._ Anna tried to pretend that this was the only reason that she was certain it had been a dream as she extricated herself from her covers. She became aware of her eyes burning as she began to make her bed and blinked hard, but no matter how she blinked, the burning sensation would not go away.

Anna had always been a daydreamer, a fact that had tended to infuriate her teacher. His voice echoed in her mind now.

_Stop dreaming of the impossible, Anna._

The burning sensation in her eyes intensified and her vision blurred momentarily; then a single hot tear ran down her cheek.

* * *

A long time ago, Elsa had discovered a secret passage that led out of her room and ran parallel to the main hall. One day, she'd overheard the servants talking about how Anna would talk to the picture of Joan of Arc that was hung in the hall. She'd found that there was a small peephole in the wall through which she could watch her little sister as she spoke to the painting. Since then, every day without fail, she would run down the passageway and wait for Anna to come and talk. When it all got too much, she would run back to her room and sob for hours into the doll made from Anna's likeness. Elsa missed her sister desperately, but this was better than nothing, and it was certainly better than hurting her again. In this way, she had slowly watched Anna grow up.

This morning, she dressed and ate as normal, and, around 10 o'clock, walked down the passageway, sitting down behind the wall where the painting hung. She fidgeted with her gloves excitedly, eagerly awaiting Anna's arrival. She would occasionally create a snowflake or two that would fall onto the carpet, or nestle in her blonde hair. This didn't bother her as much as it normally would, however. Anna's usual arrival time came and went. Elsa began to grow anxious, the floor beneath her slowly freezing as her concern for her sister grew.

_Was something wrong?_

Anna had almost never been late for this. Elsa waited, hoping Anna had just been waylaid by some errand her teacher had given her. After about half an hour, Elsa gave up. Wiping a tear away from her face, she stood and made to leave. As she was doing so, she heard footsteps from behind the wall.

_Anna?_

It certainly didn't sound like Anna. Anna's footsteps were always fast and confident, so much so that she would often skid past the door. These footsteps were slow and tentative, as though the person didn't really want to be there. Just as Elsa had decided that the footsteps did not belong to Anna, the person spoke.

"J-Joan?" Anna's voice was quaking. Elsa had almost never heard it like this before. She sat back down and stared through the peephole. The sight nearly broke her heart. Tears were pouring down Anna's face as she knelt in front of the painting, the pain clearly visible in her eyes.

_What could possibly have hurt her so badly?_

For a long while there was nothing but silence apart from Anna's ragged breathing. Eventually, Anna spoke. "Joan, I...I had this dream..."

Elsa listened intently as Anna recounted the dream she'd had, her hands balling into fists as the room grew chillier around her and began to freeze solid. By the time Anna had reached the part of the dream where she'd hugged her, Elsa's hands were clenched so tightly that she could feel her fingernails digging into her palm through the gloves.

"I should have known it was a dream sooner." Anna was quietly sobbing. "Why would Elsa want me as her right hand? S-she's a genius, she's such a strong person. I'm not good for anything. I'm just the spare. I'm...I'm completely ordinary."

_That's not true. I'm not strong. I'm pathetic. I can only act strong. You were always the strong one. You just didn't know it._

"And smiling and laughing? She doesn't do that anymore." Anna was bawling now, leaning her head against the picture. "Hugging and telling me she loves me? Elsa doesn't love me, she _hates_ me!"

Elsa gasped quietly, tears dripping off the bridge of her nose, each one crystallising into ice before it hit the ground. She'd never wanted to hug her sister and tell her she loved her so much. The feeling of guilt that she couldn't was worse than any physical pain she had ever known.

_Don't cry, Anna. Is this what it was worth? Freezing you out? What was the point? I'm destroying you anyway. Of course I love you._ "I love you more than you can possibly imagine." Elsa murmured despondently. "How could I not? You're a beautiful person, inside and out. I'm despicable. I've hurt everyone I've ever cared about."

"I just...don't know what to do anymore, Joan?" Anna asked, as though half expecting an answer. When it didn't come, she stood up. "I get it. Dreaming of the impossible…" she said heavily, and walked away, her footsteps echoing.

"Oh, Anna...we both are."

* * *

I'm so so sorry. To quote Rapunzel from Tangled "I am a despicable human being!"


End file.
